Only On Guam

Lately I've been having some flashbacks. (Well, I am a child of the Sixties, doncha know.) In the mid-70's I lived for a time on the island of Guam, in the Mariannas Islands. Quite an experience. It is a very small island, about 32 miles long, and about 8 miles wide. I probably have those dimensions off by a bit, but not by much.

It was so-o-o-o-o humid there - you know, it rains on that island at least once a day somewhere. You daren't leave a car window rolled down - because as sure as I'll sneeze in the California summer time, it's going to rain and get the car seats soaked.

My first guam-o-car was a 60's-something, powder-blue VW square-back. I think I paid $350 for it. It ran, its most endearing quality.

But, it was a Flintstone Car (F.C.), if there ever was one. This vehicle had been on Guam so long that the many years of the aforementioned rain had conspired to rot the front-seat floor boards into wafers of thin, rusted metal and holes. One mis-step while getting into the car, and your foot would go right through and hit the pavement below. As I drove, glancing down at the floorboards actually yielded a close-up view of the pavement below streaming by. We always endeavored not to drop any small objects, like money, while said vehicle was in motion.

(A few months after buying the F.C., Super Typhoon Pamela hit the Mariannas, first time in my life to experience the shock and awe that nature is capable of showing mere humans. I saw flooding, cars tossed about by the wind (included the F.C.), and trees uprooted - right outside the building which I shared with about 30 other people. Eerily the calm of the eye of the typhoon passed right over us - lasting for about 20 minutes, then the winds all changed direction and for the next few hours we were again inundated with water and wind. My car? Although pummeled about somewhat, it actually made it through the typhoon pretty much unscathed. Or at least it seemed so - hard tell given its condition before the typhoon - if it had been damaged, it was hard to tell. The main thing was - it still ran just fine. "Takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!")

Although amused by such a unique and holey quality in my very own car, I broke down and bought some rubber floor mats and threw them over the floor. Problem solved. Kinda. Unbeknownst to me (ignorance is bliss afterall) the floor was still rotting away beneath my feet.

Nearly a year after buying the F.C., it was time to move up to a less holey (unholey?) kind of transportation - and it would be nice if people wouldn't mind riding with me... So when I found the right sucker buyer, I peeked under the rubber mats - and saw mostly road and no metal. In the spirit of full disclosure, I told the sucker buyer that it had built-in air ducts that came up from the floor. What can I say? I got $350 for it, and the wheel keeps on turning.

Only On Guam - it's a very island-well-known saying, often abbreviated as OOG. Yes indeedy, OOG could one get away with that...